It has taken time to process the trip, my experience, and the many emotions that I felt before, during, and after the trip. It has been difficult to experience so many conflicting emotions over the past several months. Before the trip I was excited and anxious. During the trip I felt both hopeful and hopeless, happy and sad, energized and exhausted. Since returning home, it has taken more time than I had imagined to process things.
Without doubt, the two biggest emotions that I have struggled with are feeling both inspired and overwhelmed at the same time. How can two emotions affect you simultaneously and, yet, pull you in opposite directions? Which direction do you go in a tug or war? Do you despair or do you act?
I can honestly say that I have never been more inspired by Medan’s mission model and more convinced that it not only works, but is an effective way to deliver healthcare to those in need. I have been inspired by the financial generosity and support of donors, as well as the dedication of time and skills of our volunteers. I have never been so overwhelmed as I was by the challenges of planning a medical mission trip. Each detail of the trip was overwhelming — travel, accommodations, food arrangements, securing enough volunteers for the trip, in-country logistics, group management, EMR trouble-shooting, and medical supply management. Yet, I was inspired by Anita’s leadership, calmness, and grace throughout the entire process and trip.
I was inspired to see our team set up and run the medical clinic, secure medications, and establish follow-up care in 4 days for the 260 children that we served! At the same time I was overwhelmed by the lack of medical care that these children receive. I was overwhelmed by the extreme poverty that we encountered and I felt overwhelming guilt for my blessings. I was overwhelmed at the end of each clinic day as I thought through arranging follow-up care and continual management of chronic health problems from 8,000 miles away. I was inspired by each member of our team, not only because of their talents but also because of their hearts and humor. At the same time, I was also overwhelmed by the love and compassion that each team member showed to each student. Each warm smile and ‘thank you’ left me inspired. The kindness, hope, faith, and joy of the Ethiopian people was truly inspiring. At the end of our trip, leaving felt overwhelming. I was overwhelmed with thoughts of how I was going to properly share my experience with family and friends. And yet, I was inspired to come home, share my story, and continue with the work ahead.
Now, after much reflection and prayer, I have realized that these two emotions were not actually pulling me in different directions. Rather, they were working together to fuel me each day. And now I am left with an overwhelming inspiration to continue to work towards Medan’s mission. While the big picture may seem overwhelming at times, I am inspired to continue to press on!
Aimee Simmons, PA-C
May, 2023